Colorado Woman Arrested for Titty Twisting

Everyone loves the TSA.  Who doesn’t appreciate their daunting antics?  They feel up your children, they grope your wives, they rip the diaper off of grandma.  All of this, while letting Azzim the Yemeni yak herd pour lighter fluid on his jock strap while smoking opium in the damn line.  What a chuckle.  But we patriotic Americans really do love our federal employees, especially (and you know their acronyms) the TSA, ATF, NCAA and Congress.

When Will is Homeless in Portland was a kid, Mark Twain was lecturing down old Arizona way.  Viva la raza!  Man, could not Marcus Maximus wax anecdotal about congress?  Then Lee Hazelwood let go in the local country western radio scene—introducing Elvis.  Then I got a crush on Kitty Wells.  Then there was Wallace and Ladmo and Captain Zoomar.

But let’s talk about Kitty.  I dreamed about honky-tonking with that cross-eyed lass whom, because of some fetish, I imagined in blue and white checks.  Then I learned to play ball.  Then Elvis came to town.  No shit, the King of Rock and Roll performed in a high school football stadium in front of about three thousand redneck girls and young women.  Elvis used to sing about an old yellow dog.  Yellow dog meant congress.  Where was I?

Oh, yeah.  Today, Will is Homeless  in Portland salutes Yukari Mihamae, a Colorado woman who fought back, titty twisting a female Transportation Security Administration agent at Phoenix Sky Harbor airport.  She faces a felony count of sexual abuse.  The Phoenix police behaved like stooges, groveled, salaamed to their federal massas and obeyed.  If Ms Mihamae were single, in Portland and had enough scratch for a marriage license, Will is Homeless in Portland would propose to her.  Love you, Girl!

Thank you very much.